


sentenced to death, sentenced to life

by StopIWantToTalkAboutCheese



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Character Study, Introspection, Swearing, how josephine feels about being killed and then being forced to come back to life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-29
Updated: 2020-12-29
Packaged: 2021-03-10 23:01:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28395039
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StopIWantToTalkAboutCheese/pseuds/StopIWantToTalkAboutCheese
Summary: Josephine Lightbourne introspection/character study
Relationships: Josephine Lightbourne & Russell Lightbourne, Josephine Lightbourne/Gabriel Santiago | Xavier
Comments: 2
Kudos: 7





	sentenced to death, sentenced to life

you die in agony.

no.

you die in _terror._

you die wondering why your own father is the one killing you.

you die begging him to stop.

you die a confused little girl, and maybe that part of you never woke up again.

the truth is, you were fucked up before you even got to outer space. it’s hard to come back from your stalker shooting himself in a diner three feet away from you.

that being said, it's a hell of a lot harder to come back from your own father shooting you in the chest.

mainly because you’re dead.

but it’s… peaceful. it’s really fucking peaceful.

you think maybe it’s the first time you were happy since somebody shot himself right in front of you and his blood and brains got in your mouth and you couldn’t stop crying.

it’s just. blank. blank. blank. blank.

you can’t move.

“josephine? josephine, can you hear me?”

_“let me go let me go let me go!”_

“shit, catch her before she gets away!”

“fuck, we’re losing her!”

beep. beep. beep. beep. beep. beeeeeeeeeeep. 

you wake up screaming.

your father looks older and it’s not your _face_ it’s not your _face_ it’s not your _fucking face_ and you want to scream and you want to claw it off but its not your hands and its not your voice either and _everything is wrong._

worst of all, gabriel thinks this is _good._ gabriel says this is the first time it worked, really worked.

he asks if you remember anything between your death and miraculous resurrection.

you say no.

you lied.

you know there were others.

others you don’t want to think about, ever again.

(when clarke starts erasing your memory, those are the first to go.)

_you’re a fucking freak, you know that?_

people aren’t supposed to murder. people aren’t supposed to fucking like it.

but it’s survival.

and you’re a survivor. you always were. you can see that now.

the boy who shot himself is not enough to break you. your father’s betrayal is not enough to crush your spirit.

you deserve to live. you deserve to be sentenced to life.

gabriel wants to die. 

gabriel is a hypocrite.

nobody fucking asked you if you wanted to live. nobody fucking asked if you wanted to come back. nobody. nobody. nobody. 

sentenced to life, gabriel. you and me. but don’t forget, it was you who chose this first. it was you who made this possible.

clarke griffin threatens that, threatens _you,_ and that isn’t fair at all.

you use the mesh to survive. turnabout’s fair play, and besides, all’s fair in love and war.

and you’re a survivor. gabriel made sure of it, when he turned you into frankenstein’s monster.

clarke’s back is turned.

you’re going to survive.

years and years and years ago, gabriel sentenced you to life.

you never asked for this.

but now you have it, and you’re not going down easy.

clarke turns.

you lift the axe.

you swing…


End file.
